Ok, so you’re at a bar in Roma and someone darn good looking plunks down in the chair besides you and rambles off an incomprehensible string of Italian that sets your heart aflutter. What do you say if you don’t speak the language?
Well, blogger Paolo Tosolini has the answer: “iTalian iCards”. Unfortunately, they no longer are available. But let’s continue on with our hypothetical question anyway.
Answer: you find an appropriate reply that Paolo has prepared, like, “Let’s make love” or “can I bring a male friend?” and you click it.
Then you just flip the iPod toward your target and the Italian translation is displayed and you can get down to business. “No need to say a word, just smile and show the screen of your iPod,” says the ever confident Paolo.
Ok, it sounds like a good idea. The language of love needs little more than a kick start. After that, it’s all body language, if I remember correctly. Or maybe the male friend can translate.
In any case, Paolo doesn’t seem to have all the bases covered. The last time a woman approached me in a bar was when I was doing some archaeology work in Sardinia. She asked if one of us swarthy archaeologists could look at the “sea monster” she found on the beach. Now, given that “sea monster” could have been a code phrase for something extremely fun if not kinky, we sang in unison, “certo!”
So she goes home and returns with this bone she calls a skull. “See the big, monster eyes?” she asks twirling her finger through the obturator foramen.
Trouble is, what she’s got in her hand is a dog pelvis.
I don’t think Paolo has an appropriate iTalian iCard for the proper reply, or one that might console a person sobbing away at her loss of innocence.
Still, she didn’t take it so bad. “Even if it’s not a sea monster, can I still keep it on my coffee table?” she asked.
“Si, certo.”