Technology is an amazing thing, isn’t it? Well, it’s not a thing, but the thing to the right is a thing for sure. It came yesterday. What do you think it is used for?
I should have asked in a poll, but I’m too lazy. Perhaps you know of an application. I was thinking maybe it could be thrown in a suitcase you’re taking to Italy. The TSA guys would have a cow. Their probing meathooks might take a beating if the thing wasn’t wrapped up. But that’s just plain mean.
You could screw each corkscrew into a bottle of wine, then go on stage at the local talent show and spin the bottles around your pinky. On second thought though, something like this probably won’t get you any hot babes or studmuffins, so why bother?
Ok, I know the intended application, so I’ll just come out and tell you. Obviously the thing is made from the business ends of 8 corkscrews. You screw 8 corks (without the corresponding bottles) into this deal until they’re snugly pronged. Then you have a hot plate. Homemade. Primitive art. Recycling!
But Martha and I have refined this idea to suit our needs. We have decided to screw on only the corks from memorable wine we selected for no good reason (“Hon, isn’t that label just gorgeous?”) but we want to purchase again because they turned out to be quite tasty. That way, before we go to the store, we will have a central focus for our wine urges, meaning we’ll forget all about it but will know immediately that we forgot because upon returning from the store the corkscrew thing will be sitting on the table in full view—unless there’s a pot of unfinished spaghetti alla puttanesca covering it.
Sometimes we forget to wash pots, too.