The Vatican Loves the Beatles

Back when there were vinyl records, little people with way too much time on their hands used to play them backwards in order to hear demonic mutterings their parents would disapprove of.

Now, it seems, the Vatican has also reversed its gigantic and slow-turning motors, praising the once-despised Beetles to heaven above.

Vatican music critics said “snobs” might dismiss the Fab Four but “the talent of Lennon and the other Beatles gave us some of the best pages in modern pop music”.

Ain’t it always the way? First “the establishment” gives you all sorts of crap because you question the value of their institutions (just like your DNA tells you to), and then a generation passes and you’re not only forgiven your sins, you’re made a star because of them.

And indeed, the utterings that John Lennon made long ago to get the Vatican’s jockeys all twisted was quite prophetic, ‘‘Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink… We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first – rock ‘n’ roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me’‘.

I like the last sentence. Thick folks have been twisting the Bible and the words of Jesus more and more recently until they think they have a ticket to ride on the satin jump seats inside the ‘ol Leviticus bandwagon, where they’re free to ignore the gospels completely (which doesn’t stop them from calling themselves, oddly enough, “Christians”).

I don’t think I’d like the Leviticus life that’s all the rage. I’d have to let my beard go and forsake Prosciutto. I’d have to stone adulterous women. I’m not good at stoning. I suppose that there are quite a number of adulterous women. Maybe for us bad shots they’d line them all up to make a bigger target.

Nuts to that. I’ve had enough. I’m turning the other cheek. I’m holding my fire. I wanna hold your hand. Somewhere in Umbria perhaps.

Now’s the time. Change is in the air. Loose change, but still.

The Vatican Loves the Beatles originally appeared on , updated: Oct 05, 2017 © .

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