“ANSA”: is reporting that:
Happy couples in Italy are forking out the equivalent of two years’ salary to pay for their wedding day, a report by consumers’ association Federconsumatori revealed on Friday. As this year’s wedding seasons kicks off, the price of tying the knot in Italy has increased by 40% in the last seven years to an average of 27,000 euros.
That’s a lot of forking.
But the item that got me was:
Couples are also investing in fancy underwear for the occasion – the bride spends between 200 and 500 euros, while men cough up between 80 and 120 euros for wedding-night briefs.
Mama mia! I understand the allure of garter belts and black seamed nylons, I really do, but €80 briefs? What could you get for €80 that would enhance the wedding night experience? I mean, if you’ve got washboard abs and stuff a big enough sweat sock into the right place in your Jockeys (i.e. the front), maybe your briefs are gonna get ripped off in a manner of seconds. Maybe via an extraordinarily even row of pearly whites—which gave me an idea…
Pictured over there to the left is a portion of paparadelle with confit of porchetta topped with shaved black truffles. It is my inspiration for a male g-string extordinaire. Ok, so you lose the porchetta, sew together a pouch of black truffles and tie it to your loins with paparadelle. Or maybe it would be sexier with tagliolini. I’m not sure. Use whatever you’ve got in the old dowry. It would have to be al dente if the bride was Italian, or you’d get in a heap o’ trouble. Mushy is ok for most Americans and those over the age of 75.
What could this cost? I’m not sure, but certainly less than €80. And it’s definitely sexier and more, um, toothsome.
Buon appetito.